Now, two readers of my match report last week commented that it sounded a little like ‘Watership Down' and now I cannot get the annoying theme tune out of my head. Somebody please shoot me! Next week's report will be based on ‘Titanic', ‘The Poseidon Adventure' or ‘Armageddon'. Just think of all the clichés I can employ (and have done - sunk with out trace, subsided etc) whilst describing our batting. I liked the little bunnies reference but I shall have to think of new and imaginative ways of describing the total inability of the Saturday 1XI to post a score and so ruin my afternoon.

I have a scoring protégé! Mary has been taught by a proper scorer and so appeared on Saturday ready to sub for me as I was due to go to the Oval (but didn't). She then proceeded to upstage me with colours, symbols for byes and leg byes and charts showing umpire signals, none of which remotely resembled Billy Bowden's antics. I managed to keep her in her place by pointing out every little error and not let her copy me. I am the senior scorer after all. I can see that Rita, Mary and I shall have to have a score off at the end of the season. I am whittling my 2B as I write.

When the weather is nice, I like to go down and watch the Sunday 1's for an hour or so, maybe have a beer and swipe a slice of pizza, but this Sunday I had to watch the brilliant Ashe's victory. I had arranged to go and see Ma for dinner, so during the dogged resistance of the 8^th wicket I took my chance and got in the car only to be frustrated by hearing the fall of the 8^th AND 9^th wickets on the radio. I had to get to see the final act, so drove like a loon round idiots oblivious of the history about to be made. Made it in time thanks to Mr Cricket digging in before Swanny got him! Dave in Australia was very gracious so Sydney here I come to see a repeat of the result this summer (here's hoping).