And so finally the league season has come to a close with the final match for the 1XI at Little Kingshill. A red kite circled over the ground on the look out for a tasty morsel, Ross was on the menu for lunch. Maybe that was the incentive for him to keep moving and score a rapid and shockingly classy 36 for a 15 year old (or a 45 year old for that matter). Was that a whistling of wings, or the wheezing of Denis trying to keep up? Still, there is 40 years between them. The opposition bowler was going to take it easy on Ross until he timed the ball off his toes to the mid wicket boundary faster than Dave Walton heading for tea. Later in the day Dave's opening ‘bomb' provided the comedy moment of the afternoon as the batsman's eyes lit up, his mind calculated seven places where he could deposit the pie, the grass grew another inch, Empires rose and fell, a huge heave and the ball nestled at the base of the middle stump surrounded by bails and fielders rolling around with mirth. The batsman trudged off with a self depreciating smile and I could hear David Lloyd shouting ‘start the car'.

If we ever think we have problems then just look at LK who regularly struggle to field 11, depend on a car full of Sri Lankans from London, and Englefield have folded their 2XI. So another league season comes to a close with real progress in results and playing strength. I watched George Lewis and James Taylor open the batting on Sunday (combined age 30) and add 100 while Sam Draper and Ross Brown added to the youthful profile. George made 92 and would it not have been brilliant if he and Ross the previous week had got their maiden tons at such a tender age. Exciting times ahead if they stay loyal to Hurley, and we are confident that they enjoy it so much that they will. Val will have to ensure there is plenty of jelly and ice cream for tea and some party bags.

I was going to do a bit of a review of the season, but Prof has written one that cannot be bettered so I posted it under ‘News'. Have a read and I challenge the other teams to do similar. Our trophy cabinet may be bare (not only because it was cleaned out some years ago by a ne're do well) but we are in good company with Australia (missing are: Rugby League World Cup, Rugby Union World Cup, International Rules Trophy, Tri Nations Trophy, Super-12 Trophy, Trans-Tasman Touch Football Trophy, Davis Cup,
Hockey World Championship Trophy, Bledisloe Cup, and oh yes, an Ashes urn). Good times ahead I feel especially when we get Clubmark and a sports psychologist.  

For Christmas; the ironic glove for Prof for his hand shake with the most obnoxious cricketer in the league, a red cape for the talismanic Naeem, a Japanese Aircraft carrier for Trev's Zeros, sat nav and a lead duck for his bath for Farooq, metal polish for Orbs as they are getting tainted, cold cream to remove Tim's thumb print, a bionic hand for Ringo, some more black paint for Pete, a draw bridge and moat for Denis, some Aboriginal art to decorate Alex's boomerang ball and 360 points for me next season please.

 

Now, two readers of my match report last week commented that it sounded a little like ‘Watership Down' and now I cannot get the annoying theme tune out of my head. Somebody please shoot me! Next week's report will be based on ‘Titanic', ‘The Poseidon Adventure' or ‘Armageddon'. Just think of all the clichés I can employ (and have done - sunk with out trace, subsided etc) whilst describing our batting. I liked the little bunnies reference but I shall have to think of new and imaginative ways of describing the total inability of the Saturday 1XI to post a score and so ruin my afternoon.

I have a scoring protégé! Mary has been taught by a proper scorer and so appeared on Saturday ready to sub for me as I was due to go to the Oval (but didn't). She then proceeded to upstage me with colours, symbols for byes and leg byes and charts showing umpire signals, none of which remotely resembled Billy Bowden's antics. I managed to keep her in her place by pointing out every little error and not let her copy me. I am the senior scorer after all. I can see that Rita, Mary and I shall have to have a score off at the end of the season. I am whittling my 2B as I write.

When the weather is nice, I like to go down and watch the Sunday 1's for an hour or so, maybe have a beer and swipe a slice of pizza, but this Sunday I had to watch the brilliant Ashe's victory. I had arranged to go and see Ma for dinner, so during the dogged resistance of the 8^th wicket I took my chance and got in the car only to be frustrated by hearing the fall of the 8^th AND 9^th wickets on the radio. I had to get to see the final act, so drove like a loon round idiots oblivious of the history about to be made. Made it in time thanks to Mr Cricket digging in before Swanny got him! Dave in Australia was very gracious so Sydney here I come to see a repeat of the result this summer (here's hoping).

 

 Sometimes, when writing emails and even Blogs, it is worthwhile having a period of reflection before hitting that ‘send' button. I think I have waited long enough. There could not have been two more contrasting days of cricket over the past two weeks for the Saturday 1XI. Two weeks ago we played a team, lets call them Hammersham Mill to preserve their anonymity, and we had a thoroughly unpleasant afternoon. To be fair, we anticipated this having played them earlier in the season. The racket and cacophony of ‘encouragements' while they were fielding was a little like Wimbledon Centre Court, but substitute Andy for Buddy. The ‘common buddy' count and clichés reached epic proportions and was clearly aimed at putting off the batsmen as they obviously did not back their bowlers to do the job. Our obdurate ‘go slow' and determination to grind out a draw would not have been half as effective had they not been so objectionable. Let's hope they get promoted to Division 1 and others can enjoy their particular brand of village cricket.

Meanwhile, at the lovely Little Marlow the silence was blissful, the game enticing and the company witty. The game swung more violently than Linford Christie's shorts and was lit up with a superb century from Naeem to pull us out of another batting mess, Alex R ripping out their middle order with career best 3-22 and the Profster hitting the stumps three times in the penultimate over to secure victory. The opposition were very sporting and even had almost as many as us in the King's Head afterwards; also kudos to the superb rack behind the bar.

The enthusiasm of our colts fills me with great hope. James Taylor was down the club today (Sunday) and in the nets after his brush with a collapsed lung and Portuguese doctors and hopes for a return to the ranks next week. Even dad Steve (who follows my musings) was offering son to the sacrificial altar of the 1XI next year. George Lewis was peddling around the boundary organising drinks and a select batch were contributing to two fine performances by the Saturday sides. Poor Ross could not play this weekend as his parents were going away and would not leave him on his own despite his protests. I am sure someone would have adopted him for the weekend!

And finally, common buddy, I mean Freddy.

 

During the Sunday of the 3^rd Test, my friend in Australia was texting the hell out of me with cliché comments about the weather here. He then tried to suggest that Jimmy Anderson had Australian roots (bleached blond?). I may have jeopardised my trip down under in 2010/11 by saying that I had made a search and could find no criminal record for Jimmy and therefore he did not qualify. The texts stopped.

Now, this little blog is not meant to upset people, it is just a personal view from the boundary, and if I have upset anyone I really do apologise, these are not the views of Hurley CC! Of course a little controversy can be a good thing, I would hate for this blog to be bland and uninteresting, but not offensive. I take full responsibility, my comments are supposed to be constructive, and sometimes we all need a little perspective.

The development plans for the club took another huge step forward last week. About 8 of us gathered to plot the progress of the club. The support of Berks Development Board is dependent on us providing volunteers to train as coaches and deliver structured training sessions for colts next year. We think we have identified 6 but could always use more, anyone else interested should contact Dave Forrest. Things look bright a few years hence, but I worry about this season and next.

Both Saturday sides are beginning to fall away to the blight of brittle batting but the youngsters are doing well. I just hope we can keep them interested until both sides can be competing again.  It was good to see Alex Dunnings, Ross Brown and Alex Ridgeway all contributing on Saturday and Ross and Jack Chambers on Sunday. Well done skippers for giving them a game.

Now hopefully that did not upset anyone except a few million Australians

 

Having suffered deep depression at the 1XI dismissal for 88 against Holyport and bemoaned our lack of batting, I was only a little more buoyed by the 188 against Wargrave, but another defeat. Veggie's 77 was pivotal to us staying in the game. But 6 lbw's in the match spoilt a fine afternoon even though they were evenly distributed. I thought the rule was give the batsman the benefit of the doubt. Veggies kit hit the clubhouse wall with another dubious decision this time for a run out and messed up my book when he was called back 4 minutes later, poor Sam having already taken guard. The dear lady who gave me the finger whilst driving home the other week would make a fine umpire I thought, blind but dexterous. Sadly she did not look like the lingerie model co driver for James May in top Gear last night, and I had to laugh as he leant across to help her with her seatbelt and was in danger of brushing against ‘the works of the Devine plotter'.  The Saturday 2XI move up to 4^th and are in danger of promotion. If they achieve that it will be a tremendous effort and will achieve one of our goals in the new development plan.

An exciting opportunity with Berkshire Cricket Development Board has come about thanks to the persistence of Ringo. It is an opportunity to lay real foundations for a sustainable club but it does require commitment from at least half the club. We are confident of putting forward at least 4 members to become coaches and then run regular structured evenings down the club. BCDB will go into schools and help us get the colts which should lead to U11, U13, U15 and U17 and then hopefully a conveyor belt of talent for the senior sides. It is a five year plan but one we must commit to if Hurley is to survive and prosper.  So if you have some time any Wednesday, come down the club in the evening and join the not so Devine plotters of Hurley's world domination.

The beer festival and BBQ was a qualified success with perhaps 30 to 40 people in attendance. It was good to see 3 colts stay for a burger to line their stomachs but then disappear with a bottle of apple schnapps to the serenity of Val's mound. Rumour has it one small batsman only rented his quota and left Jeff with a nasty stain on the outfield.  Lets see if we can make the 50 year celebration even better on Sept 12th.

 

Well, I didn't think the Maidenhead Thunderer would print my musings on our moral stance over selection last week, but maybe they did as an implicit support for our cause. Perhaps every new member should get a copy of the accounts to see the extortionate amount we have to pay in rates and water, and the cost of simply preparing wickets and getting the grass cut. Anyway we got through to one who duly paid up.  

Sometimes I wonder why I spend most Saturday afternoon's in the testosterone fuelled atmosphere of village cricket. But Saturday was life affirming. Despite the weather, Littlewick Green is always a lovely place to visit and the opposition very sporting. A terrifically exciting finished was engineered with Hurley sneeking home by one wicket thanks to a brilliant last wicket stand of 51 between Dave F and Naeem (from the half way line - you have to know your Spurs history to appreciate that one). We had a childish chuckle at the opposition's surnames and I await with some trepidation to see if the Thunderer prints my innuendos.

A couple of complaints I am afraid. The pub laid on a sub standard spread which made us all thankful for Val, frankly the sandwiches lacked filling and inspiration and the cakes looked like they came out of a doll's house. And no colts were available for selection to the 1XI. A brilliant atmosphere is developing in the 2XI under Darryn and they are challenging having won 6, so it may not be possible to upset their mix. I personally would like to see a few more in the 1XI and with our brittle batting, there are a few places. Perhaps I shall have to wait a few more years as they grow. Where oh where are we going to find someone who can build a Collingwood style innings. Where is the glue that will make the 1XI competitive? Perhaps I am being harsh as Tim, Denis, Naeem and Dave F grafted to get us over the line this week.

Finally, well done Naeem for his 8-28, the joint best 9^th bowling performance ever in the history of Hurley CC.    

 

The Club made a significant and moral decision this week not to tolerate players who habitually turn up late, don't pay their membership and in effect add nothing to the club. We hoped that it would wake a few of those individuals up but instead it resulted in perhaps 4 to 6 players trying their luck elsewhere this weekend, and perhaps leaving us altogether. But then again, a couple of these players do have a history of hawking their skills around the Chilterns League until they are asked to contribute. I was fearful that this might happen and we would replace the frustration of perpetual lateness with the problem of putting out sides. While this remains a threat, the atmosphere at our match with Little Kingshill was altogether ‘fresher'. We played two colts who both shone, and one talented 2XI player who could benefit from a good sports psychologist. I am known as Humbug, but Steve makes Clement Freud appear to be on helium.

 

We got beat, but 10 players were drinking outside long after the match and six went on to the pub insearch of food. I think I was selfish in wanting a phased withdrawal of our problem players until we had something else to put in their place, ie the emerging U17's, I don't enjoy watching us loose and have to suffer the triumphalism of the opposition. But there are some exciting plans ahead with Dave Forrest's link with BCCA and a renewed focus on membership. While we may have come to the precipice, we have a real opportunity to fly rather than plummet.  

 

Finally, a thanks to Lardy who may have played his last game on Saturday. When I look back at the characters we have known at the club over the years he can proudly take his place amongst the best. The vivid slap over square leg, the long stride to punch another six back over the bowler, the Wetwang tour and West Country. Thanks for all that lardy, and I hope you won't be a stranger and maybe even take an interest in our talented colts to teach them some of those amazing shots. Nearly 200 appearances, over 6,300 runs and nearly as many sandwiches, as the umpire at Coleshill said, ‘you used to be good!'

 

After some unpleasant weekends with opposition batsmen querying whether they had 28 runs and NOT 27, umpires questioning my 30 years of scoring (eek) and an opposition fielder deciding to empty his nose several times infront of Mary until she put a stop to it, and loudly commenting on every delivery (except when his went to the boundary), how pleasant it was this Saturday.  A journey down the M4 to the beautiful ground at Englefield set in the grounds of Englefield House, a country pile resembling Hogworts, this was a magical afternoon. Ok, so the usual suspects were still to arrive at T-5 minutes, but in a rare show of sympathy and sportsmanship, the oppo skipper delayed the start so that we did not have to take the field with 6 men, which might also have been against the Laws ancient and modern. I almost felt embarrassed when we thrashed them by 6 wickets, the usual suspects having all arrived by over 2, 10 minutes after we should have started.  

 

As thunder rolled to the north of us, my 15 year old nephew opened the bowling and took his first wicket for the 1XI with his third ball and barely flinched when Dave Walton returned the ball off Alex's head. Alex walked back to his mark trying not to show pain, and barely missed a stride.

 

Then off to Lardy's 40^th birthday bash and a reunion with some characters of Hurley's past who sadly have lost that lovin feeling with village cricket. Numerous sprogs and nuptuals might also have played their part. We could have put together a fantastic Ex-Hurley XI (nearly) from Ches, Lardy, Mike T, Sonic, Chris Long and Bush. The rest of the side could have been made up from some still small Furneauxs and Dawkins who I really hope might continue their famous names in the club in years to come. 

 

And finally, the death of Farah Fawcett was a bit more shocking to me than Michael Jackson. Ok, not such a super star, but a beautiful actress and a much more tragic story.

 

I don't usually agree with Ian Chappell but our summers are crap. Luckily we managed to call off our game on Saturday relatively quickly, get a beer in the pub and then sit down to 5 hours of sport on TV. I got to watch the Aussies going down to the awesome Chris Gayle which is always a bonus.

As an antidote to sky sports I went down the club on Sunday for a drowsey few hours of gentle cricket where the age span of Hurley was about 45 years. It was excellent to see two 15-year old colts (Jack Chambers and Sam Draper) enjoying their afternoon, oh for a few more. I managed to persuade a couple of my work mates to stop off at Hurley mid bike ride and Rita and Val chased around for keys so that I could offer them a beer and a packet of crisps while Darryn blasted away. Jonno managed one of the more bizarre methods of dismissal scooping the ball round into the keepers gloves. His explanation to son Theo that it was the pitch seemed to amuse my colleague while the cute lady cyclist checked for flies down her front and enquired if we play rounders. Sometimes I think we do.

My day was complete with England playing their get out of jail card in the self deprecating shape of Pietersen who ‘came to the party' as Botham explained to us while Bumble did not disappoint with ‘Start the car - it's all over' as the Pakistanis faded. Watch out for my next clichéd packed match report, I have to get Bumble's phrase in there when we beat Amersham Hill next week.